Over the last few weeks, I wrote my father a letter. I felt this burning need to write my dad, and that was a new thing for me. Hopefully my mother and father don’t completely freak out over getting a letter from me as previously I didn’t write for good reasons.
It took 8 days and 33 pages of my journal to write and will take maybe only twenty minutes or so to be read. In those 8 days, I poured out my heart and soul to my father of my love for Christ, [something that should make him absolutely joyful], my fears for him and my mom because he no longer leads with the strength of the priesthood in our family, [I know my husband wears the priesty pants for me now, but it would be such a blessing for my father too as well].
You see, about a year ago, while planning the wedding for myself and Mr. J, my mother and father read the first few chapters of The God Makers. I’ve read it once before as part of research for a paper I had to write, and if you’ve read my journal, you’ll know that this particular book is pretty frightening.
My fear is that The God Makers, despite their time with us here in Texas, and having been inside our church, is the only kind of exposure that they’ve had to my faith.
…. my mission in writing that letter wasn’t to convert my parents or evangelize them… my mission is to open their hearts to Christ again as they’ve seemed to wander so far away…
Would it be absolutely amazing if over the next few letters that I’m able to strike a chord in my father’s heart and reignite the yearning to be closer to our Heavenly Father and His, yes!
Would it be even more amazing if my father found something more than a spark and found that same light and hope that I have and maybe investigate the church? If something like that were to happen, Mr. J and I would need to meet with our Bishop and discuss waiting to be sealed until my parents were eligible to go to the Temple. I know it’s a far cry and likely will never happen, but I do have dreams, happy ones, of being able to go to the Temple with my mother and father.
There are so many things I feel disconnected with them over so many things because we don’t see eye to eye and I know that I would feel lost and as though I missed out on these things in my life if I didn’t at least open lines of communication and continue to pray for them.
It’s like President Uchtdorf’s talk from the October General Conference: The more we devote ourselves to the pursuit of holiness and happiness, the less likely we will be on a path to regrets.
If I don’t devote part of my life to this communication and prayer and growth with my parents, I will always regret it and that would be a source of extreme heartache for me in life, not just regret. Probably similar to that heartache that my mother and father both felt as I was wandering a stray from them and Christ during my crazy wild years that turned into frightening.
Oh, and in case you missed it, the church announced that we are opening an additional Missionary Training Center. Now that is amazing and inspiring!